Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my shit smells like andre
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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