you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
