Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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