remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You can't special order awesome
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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