my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
