i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
either way he was missing a nipple.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
