I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
