if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sext me about skeletons
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
