i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I skipped work to stalk him.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
