i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
