I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
