Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
