i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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