I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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