Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
