I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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