I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
