508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
