Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize