Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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