i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
