I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
