Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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