Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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