she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
