Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Found the puke drawer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
