I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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