i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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