hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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