I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
