I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
