my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This is my gift to your gina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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