I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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