It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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