I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize