she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fuck appropriateness.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
