Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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