Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
