Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
