her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
