All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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