im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
