I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
