I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
