He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
