I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize