I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
