So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
