True but thats because hes a fetus.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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