just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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