So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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