its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
