its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
