Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
