So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I DEMAND FORESKIN
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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