Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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