Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
third nipple confirmed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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