Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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