I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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