Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
