I need help removing her.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
