You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
